Incoherent Babble

I had an unusually unpleasant conversation this afternoon that just entirely ruined my mood.

For just under 3 weeks now, I’ve been taking Ambien to help me sleep. Apparently you can take either a 5mg or a 10mg dose every day, so my doctor decided that it would be best to start with 5mg and see how we do (and by we I do, of course, mean me), rather than max out the dosage and have nowhere else to go. He also told me that if 5mg didn’t work out, not to worry about taking two a night if I really had to.

Well, I had to…

5mg was great, assuming I was already tired and half-way asleep when I took it. Now, you may be asking yourself why I would need medication if I were already half-way asleep at night. Well, you would be right, smart ass.

So, since I was taking 2 pills a night instead of one, I obviously went through my prescription much more quickly than anticipated. Since Ambien is a controlled substance, you can only get a prescription filled once every 30 days. Since I was still 12 days away from the 1-month mark, they wouldn’t let me get my refill Wednesday night when I tried.

Ok, now we have a problem. I’ve got a night and a half left (at 2 pills / night), and they won’t let me have anymore.

Well, fortunately the pharmacist is a really nice guy. Being quite familiar with Ambien, he knew that for someone of my body weight and age, 5mg wasn’t going to do crap (which was accurate). The regular (and recommended) prescription for those under 90 is 10mg. Being the nice guy he is, he offered to call my doctor and ask him to authorize me an increase to 10mg. It’d be a change in the medication level and a new prescription, so I’d be able to get my refill immediately.

Two days later, my physician finally calls the pharmacist back…. And says ‘no’.

So I call my doctor. His insanely hot secretary answers the phone and I ask as politely as I can if I could please speak to Dr. Stafford about one of my medications. She puts me on hold and a minute or so later, Dr. Stafford picks up. Here’s (give or take a word or phrase), the overall conversation:

Dr. Stafford: “This is Dr. Stafford.”
Me: “Yeah, this is Chris Meller. I just spoke with my pharmacist, who said he called to ask you about increasing my dosage of Ambien to 10mg, and apparently you said no…”
Dr. Stafford: “Yeah.”
Me: “Well… Why?”
Dr. Stafford: “You haven’t even gotten the prescription filled yet, and you’re wanting to increase it?”
Me: “Uhh, no, I got it filled over two weeks ago. I was just trying to get a refill, because I’d been taking two a night, and they said that because it’s a controlled substance, it was too soon. The pharmacist said that for my body weight, 5mg wasn’t enough, and offered to call you to get it approved before I ran out.”
Dr. Stafford: “You don’t go to the pharmacist about increasing the dosage, you come to me for that.”
Me: “Uhh, I was just trying to get a refill of the 5mg prescription. They wouldn’t let me, and he said 10mg was the proper dosage for me. Since you said that I could take two a night if I needed to anyway, I didn’t think it would be a problem and there was no reason to waste everybody’s time making another appointment with you.”
Dr. Stafford: [Long 30 second pause] “What pharmacy do you go to?”
Me: [I explain which one]
Dr. Stafford: [Another long 45-ish second pause] “See, the problem is, if we go up to 10mg, there’s nowhere else to go… That’s the most you can take.”
Me: “Well, what’s the difference? If 5mg isn’t working, how does it matter if I max it out, as long as it does what it’s supposed to do?”
Dr. Stafford: [Another 20-ish second pause] “Alright, you’ve got 10mg.” [Immediate hang-up]

Now tell me… Given what I’ve told you, was there any reason for him to be a prick about this? He told me that we could go up to 10mg if we needed to, and not to worry about taking a second pill each night if I needed it and one didn’t work. Then the pharmacist is nice and offers to call him directly to get the dosage increased when I need a refill, rather than me having to call the doctor and the doctor then having to call the pharmacist… Somewhere in all that, we decide to switch on jackass mode.

By the end of the conversation, I was one shot away from telling him to shove his 5mg somewhere and that I’d go find another regular physician who wasn’t an asshole when someone had a problem with their medication. But I was nice and simply let it play out… It did, however, have the side effect of ruining my wonderful mood and giving me an upset stomach. It’s amazing how one little conversation can cause your entire day to turn completely around, isn’t it?