So there’s this woman I work with who has an insanely hot daughter that I’ve been trying to hook up with for quite a while. It started out trying to get a date with her daughter, then moved into a somewhat joking mood when it became clear that it wasn’t going to happen.
From joking, it moved into what could best be described as shock-and-awe mode when her daughter started dating a guy a little odler than I a month or two ago.
From comments about what a loser the guy wa (without ever even meeting him, of course) to pointing out just how lcose his hand was to her ass int hat picture, I kept insisiting to the mother what a bad influence this guy was and how we needed to work together to get rid of him.
Then came today.
There’s this party our HR manager at work is throwing Saturday night. I’m going, so I asked the woman I work with if she was going to bring her daughter with her. She said she wasn’t going to be able to attend, but she’d asked her daughter if she wanted to go, but she hadn’t. We exchanged a few emails joking around about it, with me making comments about not wanting her daughter in my fantasies anyway. I mean, who needs hot, drunken girl-on-girl action anyway? Let’s be realistic here…
Anyway, in the last two emails we exchanged, her mom told me that her boyfriend wanted to meet me…
Umm… Yikes. I mean, I know I’ve said some really crazy things about him and his amazingly hot girlfriend, and I know that her mom’s told her these things. But honestly, I didn’t mean anything by it. Why in the world would he want to meet little old me?
Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of… Should I go ahead and bandage up my nose and pretend someone madder than him got to me first? In my last email, I told her I had no idea why he’d want to meet me, then asked her if I’d mentioned that I had joined the Peace Corps and they were shipping me out to Uganda and that we’d have to wait 6 to 8 years until I got back… Think they’ll buy it?
I didn’t think so… Showing up at work on Monday is probably going to be a dead giveaway that I didn’t join the Peace Corps, right?
So, anyone have advice? Ever had to confront the existing boyfriend of a hot chick you wanted to get with? I’ve been the guy the girlfriend cheated on the boyfriend with before, but I’ve never been the guy that’s had to confront the boyfriend before… Ahh, my education continues as I turn 21…
On an only slightly related note, I wrote this post after having taken about 5 shots of Crown Royal… It was nasty, but it did the trick. Can you tell? Gee, if only I could remember where that polls widget for Wordpress was…
Just make sure you videotape the whole thing and then you can drag his ass to court!
Tell him he should be pleased that everyone recognises he has a hot girlfriend, and though everyone wants her, he is the one going home with her tonight.
Nothing like stoking the ego to defuse a situation.
Or failing that, hire 2 goons as bodyguards…
I can’t afford anymore body guards… Those last two Phillipino guys still show up at my house ocassionally looking for their money…
After I stroke his ego, can I kick him in the balls and run off cackling?
Oh, and on a really ironic note, Saturday night I was invited to a party our HR manager was throwing for a bunch of friends and a few people from work. Towards the end of the evening, one of his daughters showed up with her boyfriend, who had just gotten back from Panama with… you guessed it… the Peace Corps. It was a very interesting evening, and I learned a lot about the Panamanians. Also bought some Panamanian artwork and such he was selling for the people in his village, which is always kinda cool.
Oh, and the HR guy has a pic of a naked redhead hanging in his bathroom. That’s always a winner, right?
And Drew: that’d be a horribly bad idea. You just know that shit would end up on the top 10 on YouTube… No, we can’t videotape it…
Hey Chris,
Your good ol’ commenter is back :)
Alright, so I see we have a complicated situation here so lets have a good look at it from all different angles.
1. The guy is a *little* older, so you may match him in terms of strength. Now, being the positive thinker I am, I would say that if he starts a fight and if you can manage to pin the guy down, you may take the girl home too. (dont beat me up if it sounds like a bad idea)
2. As you’ve said, you guys got into a joking mood… so you can just say we (you and the girl) are happy chappy friends and you said all that junk just to tease her. No Offense Intended
3. Maybe the want to get to know you so he can know what kind of people are around the girl. If this is the case then just go see him, be a nice guy and let it go by.
4. The last (and the best one, seen it happening)… The guy is leaving the town for good and just want to hand her over to you.
Make sure you keep us informed about the confrontation.
Heh. I like #4. Reminds me of high school when my best friend was going out of town for a weekend and asked me to keep his girlfriend company so she wouldn’t get bored or lonely… Yeah, that didn’t work out quite as he’d planned…
#1 is clearly out… Let’s be honest here. I’m in IT, he does some type of manual labor stocking shelves and what not. There’s no way in hell I’d beat him, unless it came down to credit scores or something equally pathetic…
2 and 3 seem more my style. Laugh it off and cower away without actually cowering (or running or wetting myself, preferrably). I still really hope to never meet him, since I’m pretty anti-confrontation, but it never hurts to have a plan of action just in case.
Glad you’re back, Abdul! No more vacations for you from now on, it’s been too quiet!
So, what did you do with your best friend’s girlfriend? I hope you didn’t bore her to death by showing how much of a geek you are.. hehe
Regarding #1: You should join a gym, or atleast get two dumbbells are do some light work out at home after work. It’s always a good thing to be prepared for a duel :)
#3 is a wussy excuse.. lol, but I am sure it will work.
And I just came across another idea… Why not phone the girl and tell her that since you guys are already planning to meet, why not your house or some place that YOU (Mr. Chris Meller) choose. That way you will be in *kindof* authority since you’ve brought them there and maybe the girl builds up a good opinion about you and put you on her “BF Shortlist”… :P
Anyway, just my ideas… If you still hear a siren blowing inside you, just keep a bandage ready :D
So… what happened?
Nothing, at least so far. It’s not like I’m going to go out of my way to meet this guy (who is about a full foot taller than me), and there’s been no further mention of it. I figured I’d lay low for a couple weeks, stop making cracks about her hot ass, and just let it fade into the background…
Yes, that’s a yellow streak down my back, what of it?