Well, not that we all really had any idea what he did in the first place, Mark Jen appears to have moved into advertising or is that more Human Resources?
My question is Do you have a job opening for a total bum? See, I’m not really into the whole work “thing”. I’ve tried it for a couple years now, and decided it’s just not worth it. I’m looking for a career move that involves sitting on my ass and collecting a very large check every few weeks…
I’m thinking Plaxo might be for me!
How about this “Internet QA Engineer” job? It says I have to be self-directed, which I’ve so got down! I can direct myself to the couch for some soap operas or the computer chair for a little mid-morning UT2004 all on my own, and all without a safety net! It also says I have to “know and care what the customer wants from our service.” Well, that’s easy. If working closely with end users for the past 5 years has taught me anything, it’s what the customer wants from a service. That’s right, I have the answer. Want me to tell you? Ok, here’s what the customer wants from a service: nothing and everything and things totally unrelated to your product. That’s right, they really don’t have a CLUE what they want, but they want it, and they want it now.
Oh, but those aren’t all my glowing skills. “You should like to break things, be exhilarated when you discover that really complicated bug, and be detail-oriented.” Are you kidding me? You have to be I mean, give me a sledge hammer and let me go to town on that b**ch! When I’m done, your own programmers won’t recognize their app’s. And you can’t even begin to describe the kind of orgasmic rush I get when I stump a programmer with an obscure bug, or when I insist he move a box 2 pixels to the left because the gradient behind it is covered up too much.
So what do you think Mark? Am I perfect for this job or what? I mean, I don’t think we even need to go through that whole resume THING, do you? Go talk to your boss, have him send me a huge check, and I’ll hop on the next flight to California!
Hi Chris!
You’re exactly right on a few points. If you want to watch soaps and play some UT2004 in the mid-mornings that’s totally fine. Everyone at Plaxo is evaluated based on the results they deliver. If you can get stuff done, we won’t mind if you need to catch up on General Hospital or frag a few buddies in the process.
If you can actually deliver on the following, I’m sure we’d love to have you on the team:
“When I’m done, your own programmers won’t recognize their app’s. And you can’t even begin to describe the kind of orgasmic rush I get when I stump a programmer with an obscure bug, or when I insist he move a box 2 pixels to the left because the gradient behind it is covered up too much.”
We definitely need people who know how to find both obscure and “fit & finish” bugs.
Tell you what, if you can deliver on this stuff, send me your resume and we’ll get you through the system :)