Incoherent Babble

So in my last entry I mentioned the Hooters waitress and the comment the guy I work with made about drinking and Stax. Most of you probably didn’t get that, so I said I’d explain in my next post. Well, here’s that post…

First, a little background info: For the record, I work with some of the biggest drinkers I’ve ever met. Actually, probably not ’some of’, they’re probably THE biggest drinkers I’ve ever met.

Second, our company (even though it’s very small), has invested in 4 season tickets to our local hockey games (go Greenville Grrrowl!). The 4 owners of course get first dibs on any tickets, and afterwards, they start working their way down the company line until someone that wants them shows up.

Third, I love hockey.

So throw all this together and you do the math. 1 + 2 + 3 = … wait, what does that equal? Oh yeah, 6… And you thought this would be easy? OK, so really. It all started one Thursday when one of the guys I work with got the 4 company hockey tickets. 3 guys from our company and 1 of their friends was invited along for a free ticket. They then start asking if anyone else would like to join up with them (as long as they buy their own ticket, of course). So, logically, I take them up on it. We all get to the game, they get arm bands and we all sit down. Immediately, they all get up and go buy the first round, returning with huge cups of beer for everyone (including me, of course).

So, a few periods and numerous rounds later, one of the guys decides he hasn’t eaten and goes up to the club lounge (who would have thought our company would have sprung for the VIP tickets?). So, we all go upstairs to the lounge. One of the other guys and I lagged behind the rest of the crowd, so when we showed up, they’d already started a tab at the bar. Of course, this is like spending on a credit card versus cash. It’s so much easier to lose sight of how much you’ve spent. After an hour and an $80 bar tab, they closed the lounge (the game had been over quite a while now).

So we all leave and decide that we still need food. On the way, the 3 of us in this one car (me lying down in the back laughing my ass off the entire way) stop at a convenience store and go through another 6 pack on our way to another bar. Well, we get to the bar and are waiting for the other car to show up. The guys hand me a couple bottles to go toss over a wall, and tell me that if I have to piss, go ahead and do it on the wall. So here I am, it’s midnight, I toss 3 beer bottles over a 10 foot wall and hear them crash behind it, and then I go all over the wall, more than a little inebriated by then.

Well, the other car finally shows up and we go inside. It’s crowded, and we try to sit down at the bar, but the bartender IDs me, and we all leave (yeah, bummer, I know). So we go across the street to Stax, an all-night diner that serves breakfast, lunch and dinner 24/7. We sit down and the other 3 order. By this point, I’m practically passed out in the booth, leaning against the windowsill. The toast comes and they tell me to eat up, because I’ll probably need it.

I get one, maybe two bites out of the piece of toast and here it comes. The guy next to me slides out and rushes me to the bathroom (all the way across the restaurant). We make it, and I puke my guts up in the toilet. So we go back to the booth and everyone relaxes. Well, we made 2 more trips (3 in all). I only really remember the 1st and 3rd trips, both of which I made it to the bathroom for (and almost pass out next to the toilet during the 3rd one).

Afterwards, the other two guys leave, and I’m wwaayy too drunk to drive home, so the one other guy (who actually sits across from me at work) virtually has to carry me out to the car, and then back up to his apartment, where I pass out in his bed (alone, perv).

At 2:30am, my mom calls my cell phone and I answer (foolishly). Apparently she’d already called one of the other guys I was out with and woke him up (although he didn’t remember it the next morning). I foolishly tell her I’m drunk and that I’m alright and where I am, and she hangs up. Aside from a little awkwardness the next day (and a lot of sleeping on the job), not much else interesting happened.

The really funny part is, a month later, we’re at our company Christmas party. People are thinning out by this point, and we’re sitting around talking (more or less the same group that was at the hockey game). One of the guys is telling the story to the wife of one of the others and gets to the part about Stax, at which I learn what happened the 2nd time I lost it, which I didn’t remember. Apparently, much to my embarrassment, the 2nd time it was totally unexpected on everyone’s part, and I actually puked all over the table. One of the guys was off (probably cleaning up my puke in the bathroom), and the other two just kinda looked at it, thought ‘Yeah, that’s really gross, but we’re really really hungry’ and kept eating.

So that’s my big drinking story. It was fun, at first. Then we got to Stax, and it all went downhill very very sharply, as soon as I sat down and settled down and the rest of the alcohol hit. Needless to say, I’ve tried to stay away from alcohol since then.